Warren the Holy One of Albany
This week in Troy has been the best ever. We taught so many golden people that are just ready for this gospel.:) We have this investigator named Roberta who told us yesterday after the Christmas devotional "I want to be a Mormon so bad" WOOOO HOOOOO!
We also received transfer calls on Saturday and turns out I am gonna be with my wittle wittle trainee for another transfer....Well he's not going to be trained anymore but still..:) He is gonna be a great missionary! I am just so stoked to stay in Troy! Best area of the mission by far!!
We had a few investigators and a couple less actives come to church yesterday which was suuuuhweet! AND we hit standards again...God bless Albany and God bless this area. We see them muuricles err' day. Its amazing!
Church was super good if you just throw out gospel principles...We had a few people there who probably should be attending the Albany Psyche Ward not Albany First Ward. We had a lesson on Honesty, which couldn't possibly go bad, right? Wrong. Allow me to explain our pain. We had one guy in the back trying to justify the lies that he had told in his life, one of them being where he told a cop that a loaded handgun found in his car belonged to himself rather than a friend who had "two strikes on his record already". This landed our friend in a prison term. After several more examples, the statement was made that all lies are bad no matter what, and that in some areas there is simply no gray area. This sparked a question from another classmate, one who's not so crazy and usually pretty quiet. He said "Well, what if someone down in the subway pulls a gun on you and asks if you have money, and you know you have a fat wad of cash in your pocket? Are you gonna tell him that you've got money, or not?" After a few more comments, Elder Speakman got an excited look in his eyes that usually only comes after he takes his meds and he began digging into his scriptures, searching for what probably would have been the answer to this and other questions. Sadly, with the air of confusion mixed with a little bit of contention in the room, truth could not prevail.
These questions led to another comment in the back of the classroom, this time from a man who was very drunk, whose words slurred and who reeked of what smelled like sewage. He told a story about a time when he and his girlfriend had allowed a homeless guy to live with them for a couple days. One day, the homeless guy asked our friend if our friend could run across the street to get them beer. Our friend said "And we had a...a mini iPad, and I put it right there on the coffee table and I went to go get the beer. When I got back, I couldn't find the guy....and our mini iPad was gone. I asked my neighbors and they said 'nope, we haven't seen it'. That was pretty dishonest." We all half nodded our heads, unsure of the purpose of the story or why any sane person would allow a random bum off of the street asking for booze to shack up with you. The teacher desperately tried to bring the lesson back on track to a subject anywhere near that of the importance of honesty, but at this point this train had not only derailed, but had crashed into a nearby town and had caught fire. This is when the third guy spoke up.
In order to best describe this guy, I'll just list a few quotes that he's rattled off in Gospel Principles classes prior to this one:
-"You know, I always say I am not going to be here; so listen to my teachings, and use them wisely."
-"You're only as old as you live."
-"Don't outsmart your intelligence."
-"Lies are how drama was invented."
-"When you have time to be like Christ, you do like Christ."
Now you know what we were dealing with. On the topic of honesty, he said; "Now, in order to be like me, you gotta be perfectly honest. Everyone who knows me know that I am a man of my word. What I say, I do, and what I do, I say." There was a second of silence and stares before the teacher said "Okay, yep. It's important to be very honest." Without warning, our friend who thinks he's Jesus spoke up again and told a very weird story from his childhood with his uncle, where he supposedly declared to his uncle that "one day a child shall lead him", indicating that he himself was this child who should lead. Very weird. For those awaiting the Second Coming of the Messiah, I guess we'll just have to wait a bit longer.
That story was best interpreted by the one, the only Elder May:)
I love you all and hope you have a great week. The church is true, the book is blue, and Warren is not the Christ.....
MMMMM BYEEEEE NOOOOOWWWW